A Green Christmas – Nightmare on Elm Street 4 Christmas Ad (1988)

Freddy Krueger’s always been his own best pitchman, both in his filmic universe and in ours. He’s got this unflagging confidence that only breaks – at most – thirty seconds before he’s defeated, and that confidence rings as clear as a bell as he breaks the fourth wall to sell his movies to the real…

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They’re a Necessity(yyy) – Moon Shoes (1990s)

The idea seems like a 7-year-old’s fever dream: strap trampolines to your feet and then you can get trampoline-air anywhere you go for the rest of your life. That’s the promise of Moon Shoes, the brightly colored ankle-breakers of the ’90s. To be clear, the shoes are a terrible idea; apart from the aforementioned risk…

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You Maggot – Nightmare VHS Game (1992)

Most VHS games come off as less than they intend to be, but watching this VHS presentation of 1992’s “Nightmare” I can’t help but catch a chill. Nightmare’s a 3-to-6 player board game fueled by the Gatekeeper, your host on the VHS tape. Unlike other VHS board games where you fast forward and rewind to…

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Hide Your Heart – Groovin’ Commercial (1993)

Back before streaming services allowed everyone to just build their own definitive genre-or-era-defining playlists, there was what was apparently a lucrative business curating and selling mixtapes to suckers who had way too much money on their hands. These mixtapes were advertised in long commercials on late night cable with cheesy, theme-appropriate imagery accompanying a scrolling…

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