Microsoft’s got a pretty stellar track record of terrible Windows infomercials. Some for the consumer, some internal, all pretty rough. This 1988 video showcases Windows/386, a fairly impressive upgrade to Windows that introduced multitasking among other features. The impressiveness of the upgrade does not come through in this video. What begins as a dry-but-corny corporate…
Freddy Krueger’s always been his own best pitchman, both in his filmic universe and in ours. He’s got this unflagging confidence that only breaks – at most – thirty seconds before he’s defeated, and that confidence rings as clear as a bell as he breaks the fourth wall to sell his movies to the real world. This is true no matter how contorted the premise is, whether it’s an MTV Special where he kills Kevin Seal or this Christmas-themed pitch to retailers to order copies of Nightmare on Elm Street 4.
The promo starts out like an ad for the few-years-old Santa Claus film, but Freddy breaks in and makes it all about him. He strings himself up in lights and rolls through a few more holiday adornments, talks about the performance of his past home video sales, and lightly threatens retailers. I get a kick out of how he seems surprised by new holiday decorations, like a Santa beard that just appears on his face out of nowhere.
He claims that retailers will have a “green Christmas’, presumably meaning a profitable one? But the stocking he’s holding on his glove is glowing like some sort of radioactive or magical item. Doesn’t fit his implication. Do better, Freddy! On that one part only!