Count Your Blessings – Rock Talk 1-900 number (1980s)

We can agree that the 900-number business is a shady industry across the board, right? If we agree on that – that there are no good 900-numbers – we can pick apart the nuance and determine that some 900-number ideas are better than others, some offerings more worthy of a phone call than others, some promises more alluring than others – even if those promises aren’t necessarily kept when you call. If there’s a worse idea for a 1-900 number than “Rock Talk”, I haven’t seen it. And I’ve seen Storyphone.

Rock Talk’s actually three numbers, with varying degrees of specificity and awfulness. The choices are like a bad fairy tale where there is no correct option. The first one gives you (probably slowly read) updates on Belinda Carlisle’s tour? Are the details of her tour particularly dynamic?

The second gives you a very specific offering: Aerosmith’s best stories from the making of “Permanent Vacation”. Sorry, “Toys in the Attic” fans!

The third’s almost genius in its vagueness: fast breaking reports from the Rock Talk newswire. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess the reports do not break as fast as they could.

Why? Why pick just those two artists? Why three different phone numbers? How much money could this possibly have made?

-ds

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