As a kid I had no idea what Golgo 13 was, but the second issue of Nintendo Power sold me on it. I put it on my Christmas list, and Santa delivered. It was an early lesson in being careful what you wished for. Later on I learned that in Japan Duke Togo, Secret Agent Golgo 13, was a dashing character with a cool demeanor and a crack shot and a way with the ladies, with a long trail of stories behind him each more thrilling than the last.

In America in 1988, though, he was the central character in a very slow moving video game with very clunky controls.

Nintendo Power lied to me, but I forgave them. If I’d seen this commercial back then, though, I’m not sure I’d have been so charitable. An ad’s job is to make a product seem exciting, sure, but this ad makes the game look like Uncharted. And don’t think the tacky inclusion of the oft-misinterpreted “Secret Agent Man” is accidental. They knew what they were doing.

Ugh. That second issue of Nintendo Power, though? We’ll be seeing that again soon.

-ds