Five Things - 11.10.14 - Timid Futures

1. Fallout – If you watch enough nuclear preparedness films from the 1950s, they have the tendency to turn into white noise. They’re fascinating, for sure, but it’s basically the same handful of half-baked tips over and over again. How distinguishable the films are from each other seems to come down to how the producers visualize these tips; will they have someone act the tips out, create a dramatic scene where the tips are illustrated, or crudely animate 15 minutes or so and call it a day? “Fallout” chose the third option, and while it’s crude the animation is actually pretty charming:

I know I just bagged these films for repeating the same stuff over and over again, but Fallout does mention the CONELRAD channels, the prelude to the Emergency Broadcast system. There were two stations on the dials marked CD, where citizens could tune in for government warnings and updates. That’s good information; not all of these films mention that. They follow that up by telling you that you’ll probably be fine within hours after throwing up your radiation sickness, though, so take it all with a grain of salt.

Here’s a beautiful graphic for CONELRAD:

2. Atari 2600 Texas Chainsaw Massacre – Years before LJN tried to sell videogame adaptations of Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th to kids, Wizard Games raised some hackles with their pro-Leatherface version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre for the Atari 2600.

Now this game was pretty clearly targeted toward adults, but come on. The player controls Leatherface himself, and your objective is to kill anybody who comes on to your property…with your chainsaw. That you’re in danger of running out of fuel for. That’s pretty much the entire game.

This may have been the first game to put the player in the killer’s shoes, and that’s a pretty noteworthy achievement, but everything else about it screams tacky schlocky cash-grab. The controversy didn’t work out as well for the game in that era as it did today. Stores refused to carry it and the game faded into relative obscurity. It probably deserved as much.

3. Stephen King’s Battleground, Animated – I’m not sure if I like the art direction better than the music or the other way around. One thing’s for sure, this Ukranian animated adaptation of Stephen King’s short story Battleground is solid through and through.

4. Jazzercise Ad – If you have trouble understanding how Jazzercise could have been the fitness craze it was in the 1980s, this ad should clear things up.